Nomadic Nurse Diaries

Dear Unintended Voyeurs of Van Life,

Living the van life is a dream, right? The open road, freedom to roam, and a home that’s always wherever you park it. But there’s a reality to it too—like needing a stable place to stay each night, which is where Mallory’s farm comes in. Yep, I’m living that van life dream, but I also pay Mallory for a spot on her horse farm. It’s my guaranteed place to stay, charge my batteries, and soak in some of that crisp Washington breeze.

So, picture this: I’m parked in her driveway, doors wide open to let the fresh air in, my van cozy and my back shelf stocked with all my essentials. I’m enjoying a nice chat with Mallory, who’s just rolled up in her trusty Kubota. We’re bantering about the weather—because, Washington—and then somehow we get onto the topic of pickles. Normal conversation, nothing too wild.

But then, I notice Mallory’s eyes start to wander, drifting up to the shelf above my bed. The conversation gets a little quieter. She’s looking at something up there, and not just with passing curiosity. Of course, I’m too engrossed in our pickle chat to pay much attention to where her focus has shifted. I mean, it’s a van—what could possibly be so interesting?

Anyway, we wrap up our chat, and I head off to use her bathroom by the barn. It’s a routine thing—visit the horses, give the farm dogs some pets, all good, wholesome stuff. Life is pretty great at this point.

But on my way back to the van, it hits me. I spot exactly what had captured Mallory’s attention. Sitting there, in all its glory, is my Hitachi wand. Yup, right there on my bedside shelf, like a trophy I forgot to put away.

Now, you might be thinking, “Who gives a shit?” And honestly, I don’t. It’s my van, my stuff, my life. But Mallory? Well, she might care a bit more. Let me explain.

Mallory is an equine therapist, specializing in substance abuse and relationship therapy. She’s also got some history—an ex-husband who was a sex addict and, let’s just say, a few personal battles that have made her a bit more, um, aware of certain things. So, there’s that.

It’s not the end of the world by any means, but now she’s probably got a pretty good idea of what I’m up to in her backwoods. And honestly, I can’t help but laugh at the whole situation. It’s just another day in the life, right?

So, cheers to you, Mallory. Love ya! And cheers to van life, where the adventures never end, even when you’re parked in a driveway.

Until next time,
Your Wand-Wielding Nomadic Nurse